What does Forgiving and Forgetting really mean?
Disclaimer: These are all only my opinions.
One of the many trendy topics that are flashing over the internet, especially in the relationship department, is to forgive and forget the person who did you wrong.
A great and noble intention I must say. Everyone knows how difficult it is these days to not get overcome by our emotions and anger. So those who actually do find the strength to forgive their close friends must be pretty strong emotionally.
But have you ever considered what happens when you actually do that? Do we really know what it means to ‘forgive and forget’ in reality?
Should we really forgive?
Consider this. Amongst the plethora of life experiences that you have had, there must be at least a couple of times when someone betrayed you. It could be a close friend sneaking behind you back and telling your mom, or as serious as a spouse cheating with another person. But one thing we all can agree on is that all of us have been in this type of situation.
Try to remember how you felt. That much anger and sadness because someone so close to your heart betrayed you.
You trusted that person with all your life and they didn’t even consider the consequences of their actions for even a moment. Do you really think that type of a person deserves your forgiveness? Instead of mutual gratefulness, they stabbed you in the back right through your heart, and later the internet keyboard spiritual nannies have the gall to say that you should forgive them.
For breaking us up piece by piece and literally going behind our backs to specifically do something that would shatter our lives completely?
I don’t think so.
So, who is responsible?
This is going to be a tough one, but let me spill the beans for you. You are responsible for the misery you suffered by the hands of other people. You know why? Because you chose those type of rascals to be close to your heart. You deserved so much better but simply because you didn’t judge their characters in the right way, suffering became your nectar.
In this world you must be a little judgmental, and have some idea of who’s right and who’s wrong based on facts.
Do you really want a Girlfriend/Boyfriend who has cheated of their previous partners?
Do you really want that person as your friend who keeps talking crap about other their other friend with you?
Do you really want to work for a person who has a knack of manipulating his/her subordinates?
Do you really want to do a job that you know will be boring and mundane for you but your parents are putting pressure on you?
In almost every single above asked question, you had a choice. To say yes or no. if you caved in to your feelings then you have nobody else but you to blame.
You have to take responsibility on your self to know right from wrong so that you can effectively manage your life.
Now I am not saying that the world is full of evil people. Far from it, we’re actually lucky to be born in such an age where your neighbouring town won’t plunder yours for food and money. (Which happened a lot back in historical period)
You can now find your soulmate fairly easily by going online, (Earlier your marriage was arranged by your parents and it would be even worse if you were a girl.)
You can literally become rich by the help of technology and earn great amount of wealth by following your passion.
You can now travel the world for cheap as earlier only noblemen could really afford to do so. (And if we go way back to the past then even if you were a noble, if you encountered a local tribe in an uncharted place, well chances are that they’re cannibals and would eat you with a pinch ‘o’ salt)
This is a great time to be alive. And we should completely enjoy living, but not by being a complete buffoon, and especially not forgetting our common sense. Which is not really that common these days.
So, what does it really mean?
Here is what I think it means.
1: Forget the pain that you felt when you were betrayed.
2: Forgive yourself for being so stupid as to choose them to be close to your heart, you’re mature.
But here’s what I realized. Never, ever forget what emotional turmoil you had gone through that phase and never forgive that person for doing that.
“Those who forget their pasts are condemn to repeat it”
-An ancient phrase.
Does that above line make and sense? Off course it does it makes sense even to this date and theirs a pretty good reason behind it.
The world is beautiful, full of real people who will love you and respect you. But world is also having some evil people. And that evil exists, we can’t just blindfold ourselves into it because this will keep happening unless and until we become smart and start using brain along with our hearts to find the better friend, partner, and spouse.
Thank you for reading this.
Go seize your glory!